Fathers

Yesterday was a pretty tough day for me. Not only did I “have it out” with my father, I also got threatened to be taken to court by another father.

The whole thing is still feeling a bit surreal for me. Back in June, I met and completely fell for a young chap, aged 8, who was the son of the guy I was dating. Him and I finished a few weeks ago and yesterday I thought I’d like to send his son a present at Christmas. I decided to run the idea past his father and his reaction really took me by surprise.

He said no.

When I questioned it, I was told that when I finished with him, I also finished with his son. Worst still that apparently his son really missed me (he lives in the US). That broke my heart. And so I felt desperate to reach out to his son to let him know I hadn’t forgotten about him and would still happily be in his life if he wanted me to be. This is when I got threatened with being taken to court.

That infuriated me, and so I pushed I pushed, until his father really freaked out and begged me to leave him and his son alone.

As I still care for this guy, I decided to leave it alone. But my heart is filled with pain now when I think of this little boy who now believes I care none about him. How can he do this to his son? How can he deprive his son of my presence which I would quite happily give as this little boy really means the world to me?

Fathers. Honestly.

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By newpaz

3 comments on “Fathers

  1. In a different perspective, I think of parents who have divorced and have kids together. Although they can’t stand each other, they are pretty much “forced” to see and communicate with each other from time to time, due to sharing a child(ren) together. I feel very much for my friends who are in that situation, where they’re in their 2nd marriages or have moved on with another partner, but are still having to be “attached” to their kids’ fathers, whom very often have also moved on to their own new partners.

    It sure is a tough call, but I think maybe your father is right that once your relationship is over with the boy’s father, it’s also over with him. Because how can you continue to be friends and communicate, when he’s still a minor and under his father’s care? It would be a different situation if he was an older child, I think.

    I hear ya, what a tough situation. I don’t have kids of my own, so I totally love receiving hugs from my friends’ kids and hope I’m a positive influence in their lives. I’m hoping the boy will remember you continually as he grows up and looks to communicate with you when he grows older. How sweet that will be and hope you’ll post about that day when it does!

    • Yes, I’ve realised the situation isn’t one I can change, let alone understand fully and I have to accept it. I just find it sad that “adults”‘ shortcomings should affect their children in such ways. I really really don’t see the problem me staying in touch with his son. His father said it would make him look for a shitty father to his son, I really don’t see how, but in view of his father’s extreme reaction, best leave the whole situation alone. It would be nice if the kid looks me up when he is older, although I doubt it will happen, and it may be better he forgets all about me truth be told, kids being kids, they don’t get affected by stuff the way us adults do (she hopes!). Anyway some things have to be let go of and this is one of them, tough as it is.

      The whole subject of divorced parents and their behaviour is a very interesting one though, my parents are divorced and it was quite a ride for us children, even though we were adults when it happened, and it still is. I will do an entry about my thoughts on this one day. Thanks for your input btw 🙂

      • My parents too had been divorced, but it was actually a God-send, due to my Dad used to being a physically abusive alcoholic. Took my Mom years to finally be able to run away far enough where he couldn’t drag her back. Sigh. Yeah, divorce and “family breaking” is getting more and more frequent.

        Can’t wait to read your future post on the subject. Have a great weekend!

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