I woke up with a realisation this morning. It’s not men I have a problem with, it’s women.
Going back all the way to Adam and Eve, the person who messed things up was Eve, for she is the one who wasn’t content enough with life that she had to go and do something forbidden, eat the fruit of knowledge, and that changed the course of history.
Yes, granted, Adam wasn’t too clever trying to blame her for making him eat the fruit, but still. She is the one who broke the spell.
Everywhere I look around me I see broken men, and when you hear their story, it all started with women, sometimes even their mothers.
Whether their mothers weren’t able to look after themselves properly and they had to take over, or their mothers didn’t make them feel valued and didn’t teach them love properly. Possibly because they didn’t feel valued themselves. But no woman I have met seem to want to admit that the problem comes from them.
Even my father was damaged by a woman, his mother. I spoke with him about his upbringing two years ago and was surprised to realise how tough he had it. And even himself was born from an illicit affair his mother had with a married man and he never got the chance to know his father. He spent most of his younger years having to provide for her, even after he met my mother, which my mother resented.
More recently the person who absolutely destroyed my trust in women was my best friend who “stole” the man I loved. She even told me in an email exchange that I didn’t behave like a wife should, as if to justify what she did was right. My husband and I had problems, certes, however it was between him and I to sort out, she had no business sticking her nose in, and even less take his side. The painful memories are still fresh of her having him over for dinner days after after we split, and spending her weekends with him, with not a care in the world on how I might be feeling. Not even caring that I was sent to a mental health hospital when things got too much for me. She even said to me once, when I was forced to go and see her after it all happened, that she herself had no trust in women. Yet she was happy to carry on the cycle of breaking other women’s trust.
I kinda understand my husband wanting a new life, it was his escape route not wanting to deal with his own failure, that he didn’t know how to handle, I cannot understand how she was so heartless.
Then I look at the bigger picture, and see that women everywhere just don’t think about anyone else but themselves, their own survival, how they are going to feel in all this.
In my travels studying the bigger picture and the big global awakening, I have noticed that the people who have the guts to shake the boat are usually men. Women are more intent on a “happy life”, finding peace and joy within themselves, escaping reality.
There are a few women who stand for what they believe though. but they are far and few.
Most of the new people who have entered my life as a result of my awakening have been men. And don’t go thinking there is some intimacy going on with any of them, there isn’t.
I have met a chap recently that I met through a dating site that I joined recently to see if I was missing out on anything (I’m not), and I have asked him to be my spiritual mentor. I think men have a lot to teach women. I feel ready to learn.
I do realise that in the bigger picture of what is going wrong in the world is men though. The greed that is destroying this planet is purely man-made. So I know women have an important part to play in redressing the balance. Women are primarily carers, I can see that. They bring life to this world and most women understand unconditional love through the love they have for their children. However they are very emotional creatures and this often gets in the way of rationality.
My biggest gripe with women I will admit is Mother Nature. She has proven time and time again that when she is angry, she will strike indiscriminately. Recent world events have proven this. More and more natural tragedies are occurring and innocent, good people, children and animals loose their lives in tragic circumstances, That worries me.
Mankind, we may have power over, Nature, we have none.