I got the lumps under my arms I mentioned in my earlier post checked after I received a couple of concerned emails from friends and they are just infections, as I suspected. I am getting a lot of interesting boils at the moment and I see it as my body getting rid of some crap it needs to.
It won’t change my view though that I need to start living the life I’ll be happy with. That’s what awakenings are about. Once the thought enters your mind, there is no going back.
It also got me thinking about the whole medical issues.
I have developed strong views about this and I feel prepared to walk the talk.
A few years back I remember seeing an article about a woman boss of a movement against animal cruelty. She stood firm against all sorts of animal cruelty, particularly against animal testing.
Then she got cancer. And from what I remember some of the treatment had been developed through animal testing. And yes, you guessed it, she decided to have the treatment, justifying that she was more important alive than dead.
That had me pretty puzzled at the time. What example did that give, what inspiration? Her life was more important than the lives of the animals she was trying to save?
For a while now, I have realised that life is a gift, not a privilege. I thought that well before my awakening, and this is reinforced all the time for me as I now see the wonder of life everywhere.
I have also since realised that every ailments one suffers is directly related to your emotions. And I mean every. That includes Cancer.
I have a little story to share to prove my point. I might have mentioned it before in this blog, and if I did, sorry.
My cousin Christine tragically died of Cancer.
One day, when I was visiting her, we went to her doctors to have the results of some tests she had done after her last lot of treatment.
As we sat there in the doctor’s office, he looked at the scans and shook his head. He looked up at us and he said, “well, it seems to have gone, unbelievably”.
I really wasn’t sure how to take it, especially his surprise about the news.
I looked back at that time and I am pretty sure it corresponded to the time she had decided to give up on her “normal” life and do just as she pleased, she had joined groups who helped cancer patients realise their dream, such as flying in a small plane, and other fun activities, and she was having the time of her life.
My cousin had plenty of enthusiasm for life, however she had lived through some pretty tough things and her family situation was pretty messed up. I also believe she had been abused as a child but had been unable to share this with anyone, that I remember I mentioned before and she was surrounded by people who thought the abuser was a great man too.
Anyway, life went back to normal for her after that appointment, and soon enough, the cancer came back and this time took her life, painfully and slowly.
Funny hey how it went in remission when she was happy and free for the first time in her life?
Her sister, who had a completely different outlook on life and had fully dealt with the abuse, got Cancer too a few years prior and she has now been clear for many many years.
I hate Cancer, more than anything in the world. If I ever get it, I want to have the strength to stand for what I believe, I don’t want treatment that will have hurt animals. I don’t want treatment that makes me more sick than the Cancer itself. I have known plenty of people who have won the fight and I really admire them for it, don’t get me wrong, I am not judging their actions. I just know I don’t have it in me to fight that battle. I don’t do pain.
Although I believe every illness is due to a state of mind, I know that for the past 43 years I haven’t helped myself by the rubbish I ate and especially the fact that I am a smoker. And I am not about to become a health freak because I have realised it isn’t me. My diet is changing, I have noticed, but it seems to be a natural process as it is no real conscious decisions on my part.
Hopefully, should I ever get Cancer, by then I will have the life I want and I won’t be scared of dying. And more to the point, I would leave no-one behind, apart from my family if they are still around then, so my passing would have little or no effect on this world. I find this recomforting actually.
Recently, I am starting to realise the only life I want to have an impact on this world is mine. Personally, I think that is good news too.