I am so excited tonight, I finally clicked what the answer to the big question is…that “why are we here” all time question!
The answer came to me in a few forms recently but I hadn’t connected the dots. The funny thing was I knew it was the answer but I hadn’t figured what the question was. I like to do things the interesting way 😉
And the answer is…..drop roll….to love. Pure and simple. And this is why I have felt so happy recently, because I have been loving everything I do. From listening to my music, to reading, to watching films, to meeting people, to working, to driving, to connecting with animals, nature, looking at the night sky, watching birds, loving my family, just about everything I do these days brings me joy. The more love you have in your life, the happier you will be, it’s pretty simple really.
Of course, all this starts when you start loving yourself, without this, it is difficult to appreciate everything else that comes into your life, And loving thyself, truly, is probably one of the hardest things to do.
When you start loving yourself though, something magic starts to happen, and you don’t even care if people don’t love you back. You will love them regardless.
I mentioned some time back that one of my favourite workmates had ignored me on Facebook and it had upset me. Days after I came off Facebook, he texted me to check I was alright – I had been off sick that week. It’s funny when I stopped caring what he thought of me, even though I still loved him, everything changed. And I have since got much closer to him and we are back to being close, I am his confident, the one person he can talk to about his deepest emotions, it’s magic. I am just happy to be here for when he needs me. I put no pressure on our friendship.
Yesterday I had the most amazing meeting at work with my manager. I have recently realised my worth at work and no longer worry about anything there, because I know I am good at my job and I love what I do. And the fact that I love my job shows in my performance. We had my 6 months meeting where it is decided whether I am taken on permanently. That meeting was a turning point for me. He said straight away it was just a tick box meeting as it was obvious I would be taken on, which, to be honest, still took me by surprise.
We spent the rest of the meeting “bonding”, we didn’t even go over my past 6 months performance, all he said was that it was excellent. We then just chatted about life, where I had been and how far I had come from and how impressed and happy he was to see me “blossom” he said. We talked about work too, because I am very passionate about my work and I have lots of ideas on how to improve the environment, and although he is moving on to a different job within the company on Monday, he wanted to hear about my ideas to improve the department and so I told him everything I had written down throughout the weeks since I had been back to work and he took it all on board and said there were some great ideas there and he would hand this over to his replacement. We connected so much during this meeting. He had already impressed me by being so supportive to me when I was signed off after my psychosis, but this meeting really opened up a whole new world for me and our connection. At the very end, he said something magic: “Thank you for being you”. I saw him in a completely different light during that meeting, not merely as my manager, but as a person whom I really loved.
If you do anything with love, it shows and people can’t help respond to it. The magic of love is that it just happens, I am not doing anything with love for any other reason that I just genuinely love doing it. An example is the dog walking I do for the rescue place. Nobody cares that I am doing, the dogs probably don’t even care, yet I will keep doing it because I just love doing it.
I have recently developed a thirst for life, I am getting into all sorts of things. I went shopping for books for Zanzibar at a charity shop this morning and came out with 6 books and 4 dvds. The books are an interesting mix to say the least. I have now got so many books for Zanzibar, I won’t be able to fit them all in! Me, who always had trouble with reading because my brain wouldn’t shut down long enough! I cannot wait to get started on my “interesting” collection! I shall write a separate post on the selection I will take with me closer the day.
The first DVD I put in the player is about “Genius of Britain”, I am fascinated by those exceptional people, in fact everything fascinates me these days. My world is opening up to levels I had never experienced before.
People everywhere are searching for “the” answer, some want it to be scientific, particularly men, but they are never going to get it until they open up their heart. They can look for the truth as much as they want, but until they realise it’s all about love, they will never find it. And love, I’m afraid, is not something that can be explained…yet anyway. It’s a feeling. Yet a very real one. And to feel it fully, all you need to do is be able to love yourself first, then you are free to love everything else.
How you get to do that will be for another post, as I am still trying to suss how the shift happened in me, shift that started two years ago. The one thing I will say though is that you have to realise you are only human, and you will make mistakes along the way, plenty, however what makes you grow is to learn from them and not repeat the cycle.
Be good, do good, feel good.