You may have gathered from last night’s entries that I got rather upset about losing my dog again. I have mentioned before, this is my cross. I will probably never get over his loss and that’s fine. I have accepted this now.
And so last night, as I was crying thinking about him, I was looking for ways to feel better and decided to create a video dedicated to him, his life, our lives together.
Whilst looking through the hundreds of photos I have of him, I started to cheer up. I remember my husband saying to me trying to help me deal with the pain of losing him that I had to remember that dog was much loved and we gave him a great life. And this showed through all the photos I went through last night. He really was such a happy dog, then.
I concentrated on the ones from Canada because, to me, this is when my relationship with him was the strongest, when we bonded the most. We went on to so many adventures there together and because I was out of work for 7 months, I had the chance to spend plenty of time with him. And again during the second year I lived there as I was out of work for a few months before starting my own cleaning business where I got to choose the hours I worked, and so I was able to spend a lot of time with him going on long walkies in the morning and having plenty more adventures.
He was also there for me when my husband left me, and accompanied me on roadtrips as I was going through my first awakening and, as I mentioned before, he became my spiritual guide for a while.
People have suggested since that I took on another dog but I won’t. Not just yet anyway. Firstly I live miles away from where I work and I wouldn’t be able to be there for him for long periods of time, secondly, I am not ready to get another dog and bond as deeply as I did with Frodo as I am still on a journey that I don’t know where it will take me, thirdly, I have decided I will get another dog when I find my life partner. A dog bonds you somewhat like having a child would and since I am too old to have children, it will be a dog instead.
In the meantime, I have plenty of dogs in my life, from the ones I walk at the Rescue Centre, to Sam the resident dog, whose owner seems to have abandoned somewhat since he has found a new girlfriend so Sam gets to spend all his evenings, nights even as he sleeps with me and weekends with me now. I am very grateful.
Anyway, this is my boy, a water, sun lover, tea monster, adventurer and with a great passion for life, just like his mummy – Pan seems to stop half way through and some pics went sideways for some reason! I could have made an hour long video really but sleep was calling 😉
(spot the booze on most people pics!!)