This morning, I woke up feeling full of love for myself and I decided it was time to tackle some of the last addictions I have that hinder my life.
One of them is sugar, which will be easy to do because I have a savoury tooth rather than sweet.
The other one is the biggie for me at the moment: smoking.
I mentioned in a previous blog that I wasn’t worried about it because that addiction didn’t affect your mind, like alcohol and pot does, only your health. Well, I realised this morning that my health matters just as much as my state of mind. If not more, for when it’s gone, it’s gone. A friend of mine, the one who never sleeps, told me the best advice his dad ever gave him was that you were given only one body and one set of teeth and so best look after them.
So this morning, I went to work without cigarettes, to see what it felt like.
Well, I went through the morning fine without cigarettes, actually feeling quite pleased with myself, until lunchtime came and I really wanted to enjoy a cigarette when I suddenly remembered I had 3 in my drawers that I was keeping for a work mate who visits the office occasionally and I owed her some. So I smoked them during the course of lunchtime and afternoon.
As I was driving home, I started to think how I should do this, because it was clear I wasn’t ready, yet I want to stop now. I value my health a lot and I know there are many benefits to being a non-smoker and no advantages. I think I can live without the random encounters I have had while smoking for the price of my health.
So I shall start the same process I learned about when I lived in Canada. It worked then and I only started to smoke again when I moved back to the UK, to my life of nothingness. Throughout the whole split situation with my husband, I never started. So I know I can do it, however, my will power doesn’t appear to be that strong when it comes to cigarettes at the moment – strange really considering it was good enough for alcohol, pot and a whole lot of other stuff recently.
The process I learned about in Canada is two fold. Set a date and prepare for it. Preparation time includes storing your cigarettes and your lighter in different, hard to get to, places, so you start to think twice before reaching for one. Also ban yourself from smoking in a certain place where you usually smoke, eg the car. Those are the two changes of behaviour that stuck in my mind.
I won’t do the vap thing that is the rage these days, again because the idea is not to replace one addiction for another. Plus no-one knows the effect vaping will have on us for a while yet. When smoking first started, it was sold as being the best thing since slice bread and we all know how that ended.
Tomorrow I shall start on that plan 🙂 I really hope I can crack it before I leave for Zanzibar because I don’t want smoking to spoil my enjoyment of the travelling to get there, where I will spend a lot of time in non-smoking environments and even my peace once there.
Lying on the beach reading a book yes, lying on the beach, reading a book and smoking a fag, no.