Well, I have given a lot of thought to my last entry, as I couldn’t get my head around how success could be feared.
Funny how things stare you in the face sometimes but you cannot see it. Anyway, it seems what I am scared of is true love, which is ultimately what it is I dream of, as is clear from some of the entries on my blog.
I don’t need to revisit why I am scared of true love. I have done that journey already. Love has always hurt me badly in the past. And although I now know it was my own making and why, fact remains my experience has scared the shit of me to trust someone with my heart again. Even if I am now happy with who I am and know my worth, I have to face facts, I just don’t trust men. Or “man” for that matter.
The good news is my only true friend at the moment, the one I can share any of my thoughts with is a man.
The other good news is although I don’t trust anyone these days, I still love everyone.
Man, this is giving me an insight on how God must be feeling looking at the world from above. Poor guy!