A lesson learned

Last night, my lodger and I had some words and he said he is going to be leaving.

It all started because of his dog, who I have mentioned before, he has near enough abandoned since meeting his new girlfriend. I will admit that had bugged me, but I carried on looking after Sam the best I could, giving him the love and attention a dog requires. They aren’t very demanding dogs, yet, they are. First, they need to be walked regularly, when they need to be, second, they need to be showed love.

Yesterday morning, at around the time he would normally be taken for a walk, his owner was nowhere in sight as he had stayed at this girlfriend. Usually he gets back from his girlfriend early morning weekdays – I walk Sam at the weekends – to give him a quick walk before going to work but yesterday, he didn’t seem to turn up at the usually time and Sam wouldn’t leave me alone, he needed his walk. So I got dressed at 6 am and took him. Always a pleasure walking him, even if sometimes I really don’t feel like it.

His owner popped in with his girlfriend yesterday evening and I said cheerfully, “sorry if we weren’t there when you came this morning, I had to take him out, he wouldn’t leave me alone”. His owner said,” well I got here about 11 so that’s fine” – I had forgotten he was off yesterday.

11? So, he was quite happy that his dog hadn’t been out since the previous day at 4 pm (when I took him out) and would have to wait til 11 the next day? Let alone that he didn’t thank me for taking Sam out. I had to make a comment, in good humour, that Sam needed his walk and it wasn’t fair he should wait that long. This didn’t go down well and he shouted at me something like “Yes MUM!”. And then walked out with his girlfriend as I was saying I was only thinking about my carpets.

I wasn’t happy about his behaviour and the whole situation that Sam seems to be my responsibility these days most of the time, so I texted him to say we needed a private chat the following day. He texted me it was time for him to move on. I said it was a bit extreme, all I wanted was for him to look after his dog more and not rely on me so much, but if that’s really what he wanted to do, it was fine of course. I asked whether he would still be around to look after my cats during the xmas break when I am away, he said he didn’t know and we’d talk about it last night when he got back, but I was in bed when that time came.

I got pretty pissed off about the whole thing last night truth be told. I always had an issue with him abandoning his dog like that, because something better came along, but I carry on because at least I was there for Sam. I had approached his girlfriend when they first got together saying I was worried he would abandon Sam too and she said she’d make sure he didn’t. 

I knew this would happen at some point and I now realise I should have made things clearer to him about Sam. I was getting more and more worked up about the situation instead of confronting it. Ah well learn from the experience. Communication really is key and avoiding problems never works.

Ah, just seen him and we had a chat, and indeed he has decided to move out at the weekend and move in with his new girlfriend. I had suspected that would happen soon. People really make me laugh. He’s known her something like 6 weeks. I told him he didn’t have to and explained the only thing I asked of him is not to rely on me to look after his dog, apart from at weekends, but his mind is made up. So I shall be loosing Sam. Sigh. He was never my dog anyway and I knew this time will come.

As for loosing the lodger, something happened on Sunday that made me see his ugliness and to be honest, I am kinda relieved, despite the hassle of having to find a new lodger. I mentioned to him and his girlfriend about writing to the prisoners on death row, and he said people in prison deserve to be raped every minute of the day there. I always knew he was a bit of a strange cookie but I have tried to understand people these days so I had given him the benefit of the doubt. That comment removed all this for me, in one go.

What surprised me most actually then was that his girlfriend, who had been a new friend of mine, sat there and made no comments when he said that. Really, that shocked me the most. I had thought she was special. Funny what the illusion of love and sex does to people.

Whilst on the subject of love, I had some great news last night – My cousin, who I adore, phoned me after months of not having been in touch – we are that close that it never matters – to announce that in two days, the 11 – 12 – 13, she and her partner are getting married. Now that is good news! As it happens, I had been thinking about her and him recently, as I have been thinking about love, theirs truly is true love. And in true fashion, they will be getting married at the registry office with two witnesses and that’s it. I am so happy for them – they are the perfect example of true love in my eyes, and they didn’t “need” to get married, they have been perfectly happy ever since they got together – that’s a long story – yet, they decided it was time, just for them. That was the best news all year 🙂

By newpaz

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