Made it another day

Yesterday was, thus far, my toughest day depression wise. Suicidal thoughts going through my head most of the afternoon, and in fact evening as I was tossing and turning in bed thinking how to carry out the best suicide with minimum impact on those who hold me dear.

I had a thought last night, what if, if you commit suicide, your “spirit” then is put through witnessing the pain it would cause to the people you hold dear. What a cruel punishment that would be. A good idea for a movie too I thought.

Anyway, I woke up this morning to see another day. And I am not feeling as gloomy today. I don’t know why. Maybe because yesterday was so tough, today can only be a bit easier.

 

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4 comments on “Made it another day

  1. Thanks for your post πŸ™‚ First of all I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better today!

    My father committed suicide in 2007. It’s been tough ever since then. It gradually gets easier but it’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever been through (harder than my depression and mania and diagnosis of bipolar), and I so badly wish it hadn’t happened. I don’t think there is any good way to leave someone by suicide, and it will always be an incredibly tough thing to deal with as a friend or family member.

    I’m glad you consider your spirit witnessing the pain it would cause others. I’ve been feeling suicidal a few times in the past few years, but I’ve never gone through with it because I know how tough it would be on my family, having gone through the same thing myself.

    I like feeling better after the tough days, it really gives some hope and it’s a good step in the right direction. Hopefully you can build some momentum from how you feel today πŸ™‚ Take care!

    • Hi Michael and thanks for your comment and your support. Sorry to hear about your father. I am taking each day as it comes, or at least trying to, as I don’t know how else to handle things at the moment. Yesterday was a better day in the end. We shall see what today brings. Take care.

      • Thanks. πŸ™‚ Taking each day as it comes sounds perfect, especially with how you’re feeling at the moment! Takes the pressure off it you only worry about what you’re going to do between now and bedtime πŸ™‚

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