“Just a diagnosis”

So I have bipolar, it’s just a diagnosis. Only this illness has got me sectioned three times now. That’s pretty scary. 

After the first section, which really was two but I count it as one as I feel I was discharged too early the first time, with only 24 hours’ worth of medication and no way to get anymore as I was then literally homeless in Canada, my husband having washed his hands off me, I was in a bit of a daze, under shock and moved back to the UK to start my life again. I didn’t think much about what had happened, I was just eager to rebuild my life the best I could.

After the second sectioning last August, I was still on a high when I was discharged and picked life up where I had left it and all was going well.

Since the third one in February, everything has changed. Suddenly, I “crashed” from the high, got my insight back and realised what had been happening. I had lost the plot. So badly I was put in a mental health place and now I am left to deal with the damage, signed off work, no money coming in and not able to drive.

So yes, maybe Bipolar is just a diagnosis but it has broken my life so badly in the past 6 months that right now, it feels beyond repairs.

I found out yesterday that some of the medications I am taking can make you suicidal. Great.

I will carry on getting through each day the best I can, until my life either gets better or I can take it no more. That is all I can do.


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