A few weeks ago, I started a process, quite by accident, that I realised today how to describe it:
I am going through self-actualisation through critical thinking, using my shedload of curiosity and open mindedness.
In short: I am self developing from scratch.
I can’t pinpoint the moment this started exactly, but in the past few weeks, I started to change how I viewed my life quite drastically. I started to truly listen to myself.
I realised I had attachment issues for instance and really wanted to get to the bottom of that. This resulted in cutting all connections, one by one, that were toxic, but also “noisy”. The ones that got me so engaged about someone else’s behaviour that I forgot to look at myself.
I started to listen to my thoughts, ideas and feelings, and started to look out there for people who discussed that kind of stuff. For instance, I had a lot of thoughts around religion(s) and so I started to seek what other people said. In doing so, some of my thoughts were confirmed, others developed, some were dropped.
It’s an amazing journey. The rewards some will tell you is attaining enlightenment. I believe that. Because I got a taste of that during my “episodes”. But this isn’t why I am doing this. In fact, I couldn’t tell you why I am doing this, it’s as if my psyche has decided to undertake the journey and I have no choice but to follow.
And it’s also really fun, because it takes you on a discovery journey. Near enough everything is new, and it’s up to me to discover what is true and what isn’t, and why it is so.
The people who are currently helping me on this voyage that I would recommend, listed in the order of my discovering them, are:
Attached – I fell on this book whilst searching for “Friend Zone” on Google. I bought it and quickly realised I had major attachment issues. I felt the only way to confront them was to detach myself from everything I could. So, hence the new Facebook account I mentioned, and removing most of my FB contacts on my standard account (I think I am down to 25 now): to gage my reaction and truly understand how those issues affected me. And of course start dealing with them, and you can’t do that surrounded by “noise”.
Live in the Moment – I fell on that when searching for “how do I stop missing someone”. And got hooked for a while, I read enough of his blogs that I “got it” (why living in the moment is a good idea). I haven’t revisited since but a great introduction to the basic idea. And it has a very simple exercise to get you to get it too.
You Are Not So Smart – I read both his books and they were an absolutely eye opener about “set” human behaviours that we aren’t aware of – the first book in particular explained what “synchronicity” was, it’s called Confirmation Bias (well actually there is a sub section to this bias the name escapes me at the moment and I have lent the book to a friend so it will have to wait).
This was a turning point for me because I suffered from this deeply when I was in psychosis mode and it messed with my head. I wouldn’t accept the theory that “my brain chemicals were messed up”, something particular happened there, which many psychotic people see as a sign from god or something, and I just wouldn’t buy that either. You will never understand how it felt to finally read in a “clever” book somewhere that there is particular term for this experience. And it is perfectly normal. (albeit in psychosis mode, it is so powerful it confuses you).
I haven’t listened to his podcasts yet but if it is anything like the books, they will be amazing.
Sam Harris – I fell on him via a comment someone made in a thread I was watching on a Science page from my new FB account. I decided to look him up because of how the person presented him to the owner of the page (who has an agenda I have realised I don’t adhere to) – “check him out you might learn a thing or two about how science and neuroscience and blah blah can work together”. I had been quite annoyed by the “Science” pushers by then and so I decided to look him up. Loved what I found. Absolutely. This guy takes open mindedness and reason to another level. I have listened to hours of his stuff! I am on a pause from him now but I have a book about Morals on its way and downloaded an audio book called “Lying” which I have paused. I have also bought “Islam for dummies” thanks to him because he has real strong views about Islam, as do I, but I wanted to check whether they could be “justified”. which bring me to:
Islam for dummies – get it if you want to understand about Islam. They (even Sam Harris ;-)) say “read the koran” but stuff that, the Koran is similar to the bible and it would bore me to death. And I want to truly understand what it’s all about, the Koran no doubt would confuse me. This by the way is a side line to all this – I have kinda moved on from caring about religions now, but I always had a curious interest about Islam so had to be checked out. So far loving the book. Very clear, very unbiased (ish).
Currently though I am immersed in this guy:
Leo – This guy absolutely talks my language. End of. I try and I try to find stuff that doesn’t make sense to me, and I just can’t. I did pick up on one thing though, he takes 50 supplements a day, bit of an overkill there 😉