The loneliness of Christmas

I have hated Christmas for as long as I can remember.

In fact, I stopped enjoying Christmas the day, many many years ago when I was still a teenager, my mum said we wouldn’t celebrate Christmas the first year after her father died.

Since, I have been escaping any ways I could. I have been lucky I have been able to afford holidays abroad, my favourite escape.

Not this year though, this year I have a boyfriend and he wants me to spend it with him and his family.

Perfectly reasonable request, to which I am looking forward to.

However, Christmas starts well before the 25th and lasts well after.

Christmas isn’t just a day to get over, it’s a season.

And I find it hard, particularly this year as I am signed off work, to watch Christmas unfold on my Facebook friends’ walls. The Christmas parties I am not attending, the Christmas lunches, the Secret Santas I am not counted in.

Friends with kids are busy with their kids as it’s school break. Friends with family are busy with their family.

And I? My family is far and broken. Even if I could be with them, it wouldn’t be with them all. I miss them all in this time of the year. Happy they all have stuff to do.

What about me? Feeling lonely.

I wish I had a family to warm up to at Christmas time.

 

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By newpaz

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