Following my two, what the medical profession calls Psychosis, they tried to label me Bipolar.
I fervently refuse this diagnosis, and have found myself going against the flow from the medical profession but also from the mass of people who are happy to accept such diagnosis.
From my observations, being labelled seems to be a means of explaining your behaviour: I can’t help it if I (insert whatever behavourial issue you fancy) it’s because I am (insert whichever diagnosis).
I refuse to accept that because I firmly believe we are responsible for our own actions.
We react to ourselves, to whatever experience we have lived that makes us who we are.
Until we take responsibility for this, we are not going to change.
And so being labelled gives you this sense that it is ok to carry on on that path, without needing to question the deep rooted reasons why we are such. Worst still if you take the appropriate medication, all will be just fine.
There is a reason why you “misbehave”, why you don’t feel you fit in and you need to embrace it rather than deny or suppress it. This is how I became awakened.
I have found I need a lot of emotional stimulation, and so I have found ways to get this. Eg, the pages I have registered with on Facebook talk about love, self improvement/discovery, scientific stuff, posters that make you think.
I have found I have problems relaxing as my mind seems forever active, and so I have found alternative ways to relax. Eg floatation tanks and taking baths in silent, by candlelight, or listening to music whilst driving.
I have found I am a deep thinker, and so I have found ways to express my thoughts. Eg, this blog.
I have found I have problems sleeping for long periods of time, and so I go to sleep when I am tired and complement with naps when needed. I also now have little organised at weekends so I can properly relax.
I have found I get bored easily and I have a short attention span however I am very curious, and so I have found a variety of activities to get involved in which stimulate my needs. Eg, getting involved in all sorts of short activities.
I have found I had emotions stemming from experiences from the past that had been left not dealt with, and so I confront them, one by one as they arise. Eg, see previous entries in this blog, The man who broke me, My cross, etc, I talk to my parents regularly too about issues I need to resolve. Also issues at work.
I have found I lack confidence expressing myself in public, and so I am going to learn. Eg, I found a public speaking group in my town.
I have found I cannot exercise the usual way, and so I am looking for activities that will help me exercise as well as doing something else. Eg, learning to modern Jive, will also soon be getting a table tennis table.
I have found I get stressed easily, and so I have found ways to avoid stress in my life. Eg, I spent time organising my paperwork so I don’t spend hours looking for stuff, same with my wardrobe.
I have found I am over sensitive and have a lot of empathy, and so I have adjusted my life to only let in what I can handle. Eg being very selective of who I let into my life and the images that are displayed in my newsfeed, not reading the papers.
I have found I need to feel I am making a difference to this world, and so I am taking steps to make a difference to my world. Eg the Social groups I have created on Facebook, one which deals with getting people together and the other to tackle the litter issue in my town, volunteering at the animal rescue center, soon to get involved with “wellbeing” group at work.
I have found I need to know why I am here. And so I am looking at the options and what spirituality means.
Knowing yourself without labels is what enables you to thrive and adjust what needs adjusting so you can be a happy, balanced person. Not medications, which numbs your brain, nor listening to the experts or people who seem to know best, who have no clue about who you are.
Only you know who you are. It’s your job to make yourself better.