I have finished my Love video for now and this morning, while having a little play after my bath, I got thinking about past loves.
It started with thinking about the American guy I dated not too long ago.
Our relationship was a car crash but he has given me something priceless: he brought my body alive. I now know what it feels like to connect fully with someone on a physical level. Our connection in the bedroom was from another level for me. Never in my life have I felt so good sexually, never have had so many orgasms, never have I wanted to please my partner so much. This had been missing from my life, always. Even with my husband. Especially with my husband. In fact he stated when we split that there was no chemistry there so there was no point. I agree with him. Sex, or at least a great sexual connection is the most important thing in a relationship. In my eyes. If you don’t have that, you might as well forget the rest. Sex is what connects two souls completely. It has to work.
After I came out of my depression and started to feel alive again, I have had a few encounters with men, some I will remember very fondly. However, none came close to the mark. And so I have decided to stay single until I meet the one. Nothing else will do for me.
I am still deep in my self discovery voyage and I don’t feel ready to be with him yet. This was the reason why I finished with the American guy. I badly needed space to fully explore every area of my being without distraction.
When I am ready, this is what love will feel like to me: